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Divorcee and single parent Jeff Klein talks about post-marriage dating. On Dating Episode “The divorced Dater” Andrea Syrtash: On today’s show we are talking to Jeff Klein a single parent who didn’t expect to be single again. We are exploring some of the realities of being divorced and dating. I am Andrea Syrtash and this is ON Dating. What are your feelings on dating someone who is divorced? Man on Street: Yeah I think someone who has been divorced is fine I mean they got experience. Woman on Street: I always thought that I didn’t want to date anyone who was divorced but the guy that I am with now is actually divorced. Woman on Street: I wouldn’t consider dating somebody who is divorced just because you never know why they are divorced and there is no sense in judging them perhaps since it could have been there fault. Man on Street: I would date someone that’s divorced but I would have to kind of know a little bit about the background. Man on Street: I think it has become more practical I mean there fifty percent of the population is getting divorced. I mean it’s a practicality to consider people. Jeff Klein married right out of college and had his daughter a few years after that. At thirty four he never expected to be back on the dating market, though he is having a great time. Jeff claims he can balance his life as a bachelor with his life as a single dad. And you can have it all as a divorced dater. Is that true can you have it all? Jeff Klein: I think you can maybe have it most. Maybe not all but enough. Andrea Syrtash: So how do you balance it? Jeff Klein: Well I think the most important thing to remember like in any circumstance is that I have already been there. I have already had a wife I have a daughter, I have a beautiful daughter and I enjoy spending time with her. So once you realize that I think you really don’t need to stress out about dating so much. And when you’re not stressed dating just comes a little more naturally. Andrea Syrtash: That is definitely true, to take the pressure off and know your life is pretty complete and that a nice dates a good enhancement but you already have a good life is a great thing. Jeff Klein: Absolutely. Andrea Syrtash: so you are pretty upfront it seems. As you should be I thing as a single parent, you come as a package and people should know that. Are you pretty upfront when you are not with your daughter about you status? Jeff Klein: I just think it is important not to try to hide anything and there’s not this moment where you say there is something I have to tell you, I am a dad. That just puts too much, it makes it seem to desperate. And it is a relaxed thing. I am proud of my daughter some women are interested in dating someone who has a child. Some women aren’t. And I am obviously looking to date the people who are. Andrea Syrtash: So if you’re like on an online dating site would you actually include a photo of you and your daughter on the site? Jeff Klein: Well that’s a good question. I think on MySpace and friendster I have had pictures of my daughter. For online dating I mention it but I don’t really put photos up, because it is a little… Andrea Syrtash: I should note there are a lot of single parent dating sites where not only is it totally acceptable it is encouraged to show your family. Jeff Klein: Sure I know plenty of people who have met matches on, I think there is single parent meet.com. I have a friend who is dating someone another mom a single mom from that site. Andrea Syrtash: So Jeff I am sure you are very conscious of the fact that you probably don’t want to bring anybody home or introduce your daughter to a woman until you are sure that it’s going somewhere that it’s been a number of months. That’s a big thing single parents have to keep in mind. Has that been your experience? Jeff Klein: Yeah that’s actually something that I have always wondered about because I have dated people who have been frustrated by the fact that I won’t introduce my daughter to them right off the bat or at all even. I was just curious what do you think is the? Andrea Syrtash: I think that’s a really important discussion to have with the person. So if someone takes it personally remind them that its actually not at all about her and that its just about the protection of your daughter. And I think any woman who is caring and looking for a man who is thoughtful would actually appreciate that if you phrased it that way. Jeff Klein: I usually explain to people that I want my daughter to have a healthy sort of a healthy outlook on relationships when she is older. And not see a parade of dates that I am on or that her mother has. Just because she has already been through a relationship that ended. I want her models to be positive models of healthy relationships. Andrea Syrtash: I think that’s excellent. Jeff Klein: But I still don know the time line. I don’t know if there is a hard fast rule… Andrea Syrtash: There is no time line, I would say at least three to six months just so you now in that time you have probably been out with the person a number of times has seen her environment have met some of her friends and family. But there is no exact date ht at is a good time to introduce your daughter. I think it will be intuitive; you will have a gut feeling this is really going somewhere. This is a person who is going to be in my life for awhile, now its time to integrate. Jeff Klein: And now that she's five and a half she is actually asking me when I am going to have a girlfriend. Andrea Syrtash: How do you respond? Jeff Klein: I tell her when I meet someone who I can fall in love with and recently she did the ooh, but that means your going to kiss them? I said no. Andrea Syrtash: We don’t kiss, daddy does not kiss. Jeff Klein: No, daddy doesn’t kiss. So in terms of meeting people online what do you recommend on a profile. Because while I have been on a few sites I never really know how much to mention or how much to not mention do you have any advice? Andrea Syrtash: Well profiles, yeah absolutely I think profiles are good with anybody to keep concise. And it is important to be specific and mention some of your interest. You are very interested in doing things with your daughter so I would mention some of those other interest. About me. Jeff Klein: Would you recommend putting my little pony first or strawberry shortcake first? Andrea Syrtash: That is a common… Jeff Klein: What should be the top interest? Andrea Syrtash: Yeah interesting, that’s a common dating dilemma with profiles. I would pick the one you prefer and lead with that. Jeff Klein: That would be my little pony. I think. So here is the question for you, I feel like that the people that I meet if I am face to face or in person it is a lot easier to get past the fact that I am a single dad. If I am meeting people through a social setting through friends or at work or though salsa dancing or whatever. But sometimes I feel like putting online, if I am trying to meet people online that it could be a deal breaker. That someone’s looking at a profile and they will see that I have a child and they won’t… Andrea Syrtash: It will be to be honest it will be a deal breaker for some people but the great thing about online dating is there are millions and millions of people online who will be open to it. And you can be so upfront about it in your profile without trying to find the dance before you bring it u or bring your daughter up. So I think there is some opportunity for you there to just say its about me and your interest right away and get specific about what you love about benign a dad. And then move on from that about what you love about dating and what you are looking for. So don’t focus on that the entire profile. But you can be upfront pretty immediately and I think that’s to your advantage. Jeff Klein: So where do you mention the princesses and the… Andrea Syrtash: Ponies? Jeff Klein: My little ponies. Yeah where does that stuff go? Andrea Syrtash: Well I think that’s a great opportunity to bring in your great sense of humor and in the interest you can talk about strawberry shortcake in a really kind of cute and funny way and that will be endearing to alot of women. Jeff Klein: Or really scary. Andrea Syrtash: Or really scary but those aren’t the women you want to date so. Jeff Klein: Sure. Andrea Syrtash: I even think that you show that being a single dad and a bachelor is hot. It is sexy; it is sexy to talk about strawberry shortcake Jeff. Jeff Klein: Hmm. I will keep that in mind. Andrea Syrtash: Keep that in mind but it seriously… Jeff Klein: Hey can I talk to you about strawberry shortcake? Andrea Syrtash: In all seriousness it is really a wonderful thing that you are dedicated to your daughter and I am sure a lot of women will be very impressed and very touched by that. SO I wish you all the best of luck. I hoe you come back and share your online experience. Jeff Klein: Thank you. Andrea Syrtash: Here are some tips for single parents who are dating: Take time to learn about yourself first before you jump back into dating. Take time before introducing your child to your date. Make your child part of your online dating profile, but focus on other things as well. Thanks for watching On dating and remember even a bad date makes a great story, so get out there and always have fun. I am Andrea Syrtash I will see you next time.