An episode of random whims and backhanded social commentary. Searchin’ Usa Episode “Arbitrary” Josh: Buenos dia's internet, this is Josh and welcome to Searchin USA. The show where we stare mouth agape at what you Google frequently and slapped our collective forehead. That being said, keep kids away from the show. Let's do this. The completely random theme for this week show is arbitrary, so we're going to count our top-five arbitrary search terms. Not that it really matters or not so I guess we can start, if you want. Number five Shaq divorce 756, doesn't this guy wear a size 23 or something? Because you know what they say about guys with big feet, their marriages fall apart. Number four, lab collie mix at 281. Where I'm from we make our lab collies from scratch, none of this instant microwave shit. Number three, plenty of fish, at number 579. As in, in the sea? As in what your friends keep telling you over and over because you just came out of a bad breakup? Look here is my advice, take what is left of your dignity, go rent the second season of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD. Grab yourself a Sam's Club bucket of Twizzlers, eat the whole fucking thing, rub one out, and do it again in the morning. Number two, erection at 67. 400,000 frat boys cutting right to the chase. And my number one arbitrary search of the week is... Day spa, Houston, Texas. This week's weather in Houston, humid with a 80% chance of bitter workaholic divorcees. Hey, I do not know about you but one I'm looking for domain names on the Internet I am looking at goDaddy.com. As low as $1.99 in some cases. Hot to trot web Building utility stuff, and also world-class hosting services. All you have to do for 10% off is type in this code down here, and get your ass to Go Daddy. mother fucking com bitch. Now a segment called Grandma has been on the computer again. The anesthetic combination of lots of spare time and a longing for the good old days has the elderly invading our beloved internet, kind of like Omaha Beach. This week driving slowly in the left-hand lane with their blinkers on are Frank Sinatra at 338 and large type crossword puzzles at 274. Reminding us that we have nothing to look forward to when we get older except the smell of red rose perfume and mothballs. So what would happen if we let your search results determine the president of the good old USA we will find out in this segment that I'm going to call the stiff election. Well, America say hello to next president at 840 raisin faced incendiary curmudgeon Ron Paul is the only actual candidate to show up in the top 1000. That is if you don’t count Hilary Duff at 870 or presidents on currency at 474. It looks like you are too obsessed with the old ones to try to elect a new possibly cuter one. Alright I have something very important to take care of in the garage, I can't tell you what it is but I'll see you next week. Until then keep searching USA.