Bernadette Pauley has a discussion with Christian Thom about the college circuit. Comedy Insider Episode “College humor pays comedians well” Christian Thom: Hi Christian Thom here, hanging in the park outside my old Alma Mata NYU. You know it is right here in Washington Square Park where many freshmen have their first interaction with actual New York urban culture. By buying dime bags of oregano laced with trace amounts of actual pot. Go violets. Yes the NYU mascot is the Violet. $47,000 a year in tuition and you have to root for a flower. I guess that makes or chief rival masculine dignity. Could you imagine if the UCLA Bruin was a flower? Go pansies. Beat off the Trojans. Now that’s just wrong. You wouldn’t know it, but college campuses are actually thought of as huge comedy clubs by comedians. Because think about it, there are more people willing to laugh and get drunk here on a Friday night, than al the comedy club in New York combined. And tonight comedian Bernadette Pauley is going to give us a glimpse into the college circuit. Bernie, most people think of comics as performing in night clubs and comedy clubs only. But that is just one professional arena out of many. And you play at a lot of colleges as part of your media. Bernadette Pauley: Yes, I travel the country, state to state. Been to Alaska, and it is a large part of my bread and butter. I got the husband at home, he is pretty good. Not easy being married though. Everyone tells us it is easy right. They are like oh just get married it is awesome. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You will just run around like a married princess it will be great. Just do it. Everybody lies. Oprah she ha ten sows a week on having a good marriage. You don’t see her doing that shit do you? Christian Thom: Now you have a certain act that you do in the clubs. And then you have another act that you do in the colleges. How doe the material change? How does your act change? Bernadette Pauley: Well there is different theory’s about that. I don’t have an entirely different act, now people. Some people say you have your college set, your corporate set, and your club set. And that is what you do, and you make your living and that is what you have to do. Other people, you might call them purist say if you change anything your pandering. But right now I alter it a little bit because you have to look at people’s experience. Like a lot of times in clubs I can do tons of marriage material. Cut to colleges nobody is married yet. I do a lot more pop culture. Don’t even start talking about being married until like after half an hour has passed. So that they really know me and who I am. It is like I guess boxing. You do a little bit of a jab, jab, and a left here, and a right there and you kind of move them on over into your territory. I shouldn’t complain though I have a pretty good life, if look around at the rest of the world people have it really bad. Little tiny kids living in slums don’t even know what a house is. They jus sit in these puddles all day. Women wear Burkes’. Get set on fire. No one in the world deserves to live like that. Unless of course you are one of the girls on MTV’s my super sweet 16. And then it is okay. Actually I think we should start a little exchange program. We will take the kids from the slum puddles, we will ship them over here, and we will ship those girls over there to take their place. We could plink them right in the puddles. Plunk, plunk, plunk. Take away their tiaras. Give them flies instead. Christian Thom: So tell us the process of booking yourself into colleges, or into the college circuit. Bernadette Pauley: Okay um, I didn’t even know the college circuit existed. And I was vey lucky someone referred me to their college agent Matt Schuler, and I have been with them for like seven years now. And they are awesome, they submit me to colleges. They have a great relationship with colleges. And also they submit me to NOCAS, which is the national organization of campus activities. The get together for this huge conference and it goes like 72 hours. And they will pick like ten comedians, five poets, a juggler, and magicians. Christian Thom: Entertainment. Yeah. Bernadette Pauley: Entertainment. And then after your showcase you go to this giant building or area and you stand in a booth. Like up for sale, which is ridiculous. So you are like between the juggler and the band. And everybody is just like… Christian Thom: And you feel like a whore in Amsterdam. Bernadette Pauley: Yes and it goes good sometimes. And it goes poorly sometimes, and you just never know, there is no rational. So sometimes people are like oh my god, you’re a superstar can I have your autograph? And like we want you to come to our school, and then sometime there like, uh can you move over so I can get the person I like. You know what I mean. So it is really hard on the ego, but I guess it is a good test. And then what do you do to feel better about yourself? You drink too much, you spend money you don’t have, and you do drugs, which is what you are doing right now. So don’t watch that stuff, but if you find yourself watching it, you get strong. You take your remote, you watch a little cops. You will be like oh, I am doing okay. Yeah, I am better off than the guy with no shirt and his wife with no bra. Uncle Larry? Christian Thom: Colleges are actually a really legitimate circuit that runs parallel to the clubs as well. Bernadette Pauley: It’s a very legitimate circuit. Once in awhile people will try to act like it isn’t. Like oh you do colleges, your just a sell out, your just a hack, you do cruise ships you’re a hack. And trust me there are a lot of really bad hacky acts on cruise ships, so don’t get me wrong. But if you really want to be a purist, colleges might be an ore legit venue. Because if you look at the history of comedy, and Jay Leno, and Ellen DeGeneres, and all these people. All these people were around hello, before comedy clubs. Comedy clubs sprouted up and were built around them. People used to do comedy at bowling alleys, at strip clubs, at colleges. And they just toured state, to state, to state. This is the old fashion way. His is how real comedians came up before everybody wanted to be one. And they were like; ooh I could get a sitcom and have a lot of money. All these guys, Seinfeld and the rest of the included, comedy clubs were built up around them in this comedy rush. Before that these guys were still working six nights a week on the road, doing colleges. My mother was so excited when I got engaged to him though. Irish catholic mother, she was like oh good because for awhile there we though you liked girls. I was like mom that is ridiculous alright, I am so not gay. I mean sure I have made out with a couple of girls, but it’s not because I am gay, it is because I am an alcoholic. She was relieved, we are Irish. Ironically my best friend of 11 years is a lesbian and I was her first girlfriend. I just didn’t know it. I believe that every comic should probably be well rounded, and that includes doing your corporate, doing your club gigs, doing your colleges. Doing some stuff in other countries when you can. You really have to be well rounded because, I am repeating myself. But in the older days there weren’t comedy clubs, so you just took gigs everywhere and anywhere you could get them. That’s how they became so well rounded. That’s how those guys can handle themselves in front of anybody. And why not have a huge open market full of college kids that appreciate you begin there. And these are the people that are going to watch you on TV ten years from now. So why wouldn’t you want to go see them in person. They can just be such a great really appreciative crowd. They are not hammered like in comedy clubs sometimes. You do a Friday or a Saturday night midnight show. You are like why am I here. You know what I mean, I am just babysitting. You know. Christian Thom: In a bar. Bernadette Pauley: And nobody begrudges you anything, nobody tries to chat you a hundred bucks off the check when you get there. Which happen in quite a few comedy clubs, so for me, I couldn’t not do them. You guys are fabulous I have been Bernadette Pauley, thank you guys so much.